Sounds little funnny. If you are using the elgg's add friend function, it will send the email to the friended users. But this is not a friend request message, Just a notification that Mr. X added you as a friend.. So whats the problem if the message is sent? Also all these users (the dead ones) are fake. So use a fake email for them.

I SENSE, SOME THING TRICKY IS HAPPENING HERE...

I thought that an e-mail messge had to go out and then have the recipient accept the invite.  I learned that to add a friend, all I had to do was go to New Members, select them, and add them as a friend.  I had to step away form the computer for a while to clear my head...

Tony