sorry if this is silly, but where exactly do i edit/find to write that?

because i dont see a place in the .httacess file for me to enter that, in my .httaccess file is states:

<IfModule mod_php5.c>

# default memory limit to 64Mb

php_value memory_limit 64Mb

# to make sure register global is off

php_value register_globals 0

# max post size to 8Mb

php_value post_max_size 8388608

# upload size limit to 5Mb

php_value upload_max_filesize 5242880

# hide errors, enable only if debug enabled

php_value display_errors 0

</IfModule>

Chris - right now PHP is limited to 18 MB. The default for this is set in your php.ini. Elgg's .htaccess tries to set it to 64 MB ("php_value memory_limit 64Mb"). It doesn't look like this is being picked up. You may need to speak to the administer of the server to see why you are limited to 18 MB.