Ok I developed a small add on plugin:
http://community.elgg.org/plugins/1592582/0.1/event-calendar-index-widget
It actually can't display only the site events as that seems too difficult for my limited coding skills (needs custon DB query), but you can specify it to display only the events of a certain group, or alternatively all public events.
Ok, maybe this is intended behaviour, but it seems to only send reminders for "public" events and not those visible to group members only. Sorry that I didn't try that before, but I was testing in our admin group and didn't want to disturb the "public" users of the site.
Is there an easy way to allow sending reminders for group only events?
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