email delivery problem

I'm having trouble getting email delivered to my gmail and yahoo accounts using both elgg 2.3.10 and 3. I've used the test script from http://learn.elgg.org/en/2.0/appendix/faqs.html#missing-email and it gets through to my gmail and yahoo accounts but my elgg site emails don't. I'm using a godaddy vps which has to use a relay server to forward the emails. My mta gets them to the relay and they are accepted but disappear after that. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

test script email that makes it through (user names are obfuscated):

Delivered-To: xxxxxxx@gmail.com
Received: by 2002:a4a:dd0e:0:0:0:0:0 with SMTP id m14csp220547oou;
        Sun, 24 Feb 2019 15:17:17 -0800 (PST)
X-Google-Smtp-Source: AHgI3IbsKgCJAc7nB6gNHq0kTV4kjRfnmyixi84kfAmCpP2mgvf/SBx4Bu6g7TbWmmt82y7kPYCG
X-Received: by 2002:a24:7649:: with SMTP id z70mr7389063itb.63.1551050237159;
        Sun, 24 Feb 2019 15:17:17 -0800 (PST)
ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; t=1551050237; cv=none;
        d=google.com; s=arc-20160816;
        b=CKtNkWOMi2Gr7f47m2YjdxjmcDXw1LH6XVZVWNGNJX+eZTlaRnZY1LiuvLZSlnoSn0
         MwtrFk9aTwf6DhqGBMYhrYX2y/t83M0swQ2O/oxhY7XyZKEnHbRo3brr6nzijuglqCoL
         gFFY5PVAixjFPEAM+i3YWEen3rRTjWdfJvdRuP4k5Qj/E9KDRkqIefUuwJSfTih6bhM3
         Vk2flHECDbXv1pHWuSuHI472E+RrRlaYvHyNnyJNQMzg5wrYo6UMo7l2o0UDYom9243R
         uISkhvAWgS1I+QjfSxrx/GDOZLP9BQSrRoObcUFQldp/L8Bm2CbOPTnUQ98FLesM3eLg
         8r2g==
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=google.com; s=arc-20160816;
        h=date:from:message-id:subject:to;
        bh=JVXUwOv9C7xKdZO+Q/bxEz/Wc0HAJfVyvlxzanRcq9w=;
        b=MekuY9puEA61xzaKO3Qd2qTwkSA/QCtH3XUUk+37W3O+OZU1AF3qcG7zZT1Yj4YcbU
         jMv23eEZL6ybu5OnnzRQ4Q946ud0CVE9HyW81qxTQTFxMObMnWCNZJITiHFzkTZVDebz
         MX8JKCSUg1yJnRHp60Vy9btMrDnQTNqNjMbkpcE62J0lezXbvug9ueObCDcKvxAr2YN9
         rxYHDxHKS8xx/AMDYUhHF7HNwpZs6XVfWz6SuZzHqFcjkszoSMG/+CGWB/hHSrPZUCVp
         s8LpT/FB4Ao5B7gjcf4+jglzq9CGsbEmOpxhe6hHWCjHzQicpTkvJGXgV3LdboFHGsoY
         do5A==
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1; mx.google.com;
       spf=pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net designates 208.109.80.53 as permitted sender) smtp.mailfrom=xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net;
       dmarc=fail (p=NONE sp=NONE dis=NONE) header.from=secureserver.net
Return-Path: <xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net>
Received: from p3plsmtpout003.prod.phx3.secureserver.net (p3plsmtpout003.prod.phx3.secureserver.net. [208.109.80.53])
        by mx.google.com with ESMTPS id o10si3470804ito.45.2019.02.24.15.17.16
        for <xxxxxxx@gmail.com>
        (version=TLS1_2 cipher=ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 bits=128/128);
        Sun, 24 Feb 2019 15:17:16 -0800 (PST)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net designates 208.109.80.53 as permitted sender) client-ip=208.109.80.53;
Authentication-Results: mx.google.com;
       spf=pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net designates 208.109.80.53 as permitted sender) smtp.mailfrom=xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net;
       dmarc=fail (p=NONE sp=NONE dis=NONE) header.from=secureserver.net
Received: from s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net ([132.148.150.34]) by : HOSTING RELAY : with ESMTP id y30JgzJsvEdBdy30Jgu6UT; Sun, 24 Feb 2019 16:16:15 -0700
x-originating-ip: 132.148.150.34
Received: from xxxxxxxxx by s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net with local (Exim 4.91) (envelope-from <xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net>) id 1gy30E-0001cX-0G for xxxxxxx@gmail.com; Sun, 24 Feb 2019 18:16:10 -0500
To: xxxxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: Test email.
X-PHP-Script: thenudeme.com/test_email.php for 199.16.223.149
X-PHP-Originating-Script: 501:test_email.php
Message-Id: <E1gy30E-0001cX-0G@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net>
From: xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net
Date: Sun, 24 Feb 2019 18:16:10 -0500
X-CMAE-Envelope: MS4wfK5ZlFkfaA6DnbB+mTm+CrX0xmbGiRwPPOXZXyXMnftKDbqcS8xvhdbH6L1OAneq+/aALHWyRPZWal7EhacRoUpJ4GopmoqUzVk7ih2C2DckeUGhGHBv hexdJbr2DsOiEgURS+acXBBQXfH3+rl71ygcJRv8bvBBRtdgk6PlexPDlmLG05cLE/dDUZLZmd2nJgkNHdXEQC8na5sAJyh/Jb4ilWF2odPTlRVrSMYhZYzQ

If you can read this, your email is working.


test script log from my server:

2019-02-24 18:16:10 cwd=/home/thenudeme/public_html 3 args: /usr/sbin/sendmail -t -i
2019-02-24 18:16:10 1gy30E-0001cX-0G <= xxxxxxxxx@s132-148-150-34.secureserver.net U=xxxxxxxxx P=local S=571 T="Test email." for xxxxxxx@gmail.com
2019-02-24 18:16:10 cwd=/var/spool/exim 3 args: /usr/sbin/exim -Mc 1gy30E-0001cX-0G
2019-02-24 18:16:15 1gy30E-0001cX-0G => xxxxxxx@gmail.com R=send_to_smart_host T=remote_smtp H=dedrelay.secureserver.net [208.109.80.54] C="250 2.0.0 y30JgzJsvEdBd mail accepted for delivery"
2019-02-24 18:16:15 1gy30E-0001cX-0G Completed
2019-02-24 18:21:16 SMTP connection from [127.0.0.1]:53518 (TCP/IP connection count = 1)
2019-02-24 18:21:16 SMTP connection from (localhost) [127.0.0.1]:53518 closed by QUIT


log from elgg sending email that doesn't get received by gmail:

2019-02-24 18:31:51 cwd=/home/thenudeme/public_html 4 args: /usr/sbin/sendmail -t -i -fxxxxxxx@thenudeme.com
2019-02-24 18:31:51 1gy3FP-0001gk-Tf <= xxxxxxx@thenudeme.com U=thenudeme P=local S=1027 id=/.entity.42.1551051111.8929@www.thenudeme.com T="Test please confirm your email address for The Nude Me!" for xxxxxxx@gmail.com
2019-02-24 18:31:51 cwd=/var/spool/exim 3 args: /usr/sbin/exim -Mc 1gy3FP-0001gk-Tf
2019-02-24 18:31:57 1gy3FP-0001gk-Tf => xxxxxxx@gmail.com R=send_to_smart_host T=remote_smtp H=dedrelay.secureserver.net [208.109.80.54] C="250 2.0.0 y3FVgzSO1EdBd mail accepted for delivery"
2019-02-24 18:31:57 1gy3FP-0001gk-Tf Completed